talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize