I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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