We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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