apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize