Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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