all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
