i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
