What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
