this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
