so that wasnt chicken after all
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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