No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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