He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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