everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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