So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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