I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
