he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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