one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
