i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
