My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dick very happy bro
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
