didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
