it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize