Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
