my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
