dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
