Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
