Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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