I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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