do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
