We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
