9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
