just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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