Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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