the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize