Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
one might say we're banned from that church
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
