people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
