this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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