Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
