There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
