these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
