I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
