Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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