Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its not stalking. its research.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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