I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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