he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
