.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
