We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
