My room smells like vodka and shame
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize