I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
