My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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