A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
