Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i drank out of a bidet.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
