I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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