I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize