there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
