OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
