I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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