I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
