TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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