This is not my ceiling
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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