Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
