please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
